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off the cuff, by Sha’Tara]  (Some off the cuff humour for those who take certain things a bit too seriously, no really, seriously, I mean it!) If you believe in evolution, and yes, it’s a "belief" thing, meaning it's a faith thing, just like everything else, then you have to accept that everything, and I mean everything, is on its way to somewhere else because it is becoming something else and, like believing in hell and heaven, you can only speculate as to what that may mean. Evolution is an interesting theory even if it makes no sense, but then, if something did make sense to Earthian understanding, there’d be a mob, a stampede or a revolution against it. If it made no sense, of course, there'd just be a mission statement just to muddy the field a bit more. So everything, bottom line, becomes a kind of religion, and every religion requires a god, or a plethora of goddesses and gods to make it legit. Tax-exempt, that is. Earthian gods do not have to all be invisible sky wizards: they can be banksters, CEO's, politicians and celebs. None of it leads anywhere, so why should it matter if it's Jehovah, Kim Kardashian or Donald Trump? Which brings up a hot question: "Why isn't Justin Bieber running for president? He's got most of the qualifications as far as character goes and a birth certificate can easily be faked, after all it's politics, isn't it?" Just asking. I think "they" are missing a golden opportunity by not running JB. After all, Canada elected its own Justin just a few weeks ago, what's wrong with America?" Anyway, here's where believers in Evolution have got it all wrong. They’re trying to back-engineer creation (or call it "what is" to be politically correct) to prove their god is real, which means to prove he, she, it, doesn’t exist, which is a bit of a conundrum, what? And they’re doing this purportedly using science? No, no, no! Do it as a charitable, non-profit-for-profit religion, if only for the tax breaks. But the problem re-surfaces: if you declare official religion to be an enemy to be obliterated, you can't do the honest thing and make your belief into a religiously charitable rip-off organization without making it your own worst enemy. As I said above, bit of a conundrum. I’m sure that like all systems based on faith they’d like to be guaranteed a free ride in the area of taxes, but at this juncture the price is a bit too high. I’ve given evolution a lot of thought (well, about as much as marrying a billionaire who would build me a mansion on Pluto) and, I discovered this: that evolution does work, if you don’t think about it. If you think about it, if you allow your mind to take a serious hold of the numbers concerning the time-span required for evolution to “work” then you’re into the millions, possibly billions of years. Let’s see, a rabbit can become a catbit (that’s a cat-rabbit in evolutionary terms, go ahead, Google it, and if they haven't got it in yet, they're slackers) in approximately 2.4 billion years, give or take a few million years this side or the other to account for climate change and retractable claws. Of course, that can only happen if the rabbit’s natural food supply becomes hard to get and the animal needs to develop a taste for mouse and rat meat in order for its species to survive. Of course by then the rats and mice have evolved too, and they're more than ready for the new challenge - well, they've had a few million years to watch those catbits in training... For evolutionists of course the incomprehensible amount of time it purportedly requires for a rabbit to become a catbit is custom-made for the biggest fudge of all: you can’t see the changes because a human life-span, or even a whole civilization’s life-span is much too short to notice the subtle differences taking place each ten-thousand years or so, give or take a hundred-thousand years. Because you can’t prove evolution, you can’t disprove it either. Doesn’t that seem a lot like the point made by those older religions it’s trying to supplant? Interestingly, if not surprisingly, there is one species evolutionists are quite willing to make allowances for. That would be mankind. Why? Because mankind defies natural evolution, however much “evos” have tried to reconcile today’s bipedal creature with similar creatures known to have existed in the recent past which bear a modicum of resemblance to today’s planet-eating predators – of which the evos are a part - and desperate to justify man's inexplicable jog off the old presumed beaten path of evolutionary pedanticity. Given the immense time spans required for evolution to work itself into a moderate sweat, how could man evolve so rapidly in such a short time, i.e., in under a half-a-million years? Then there’s the apes and their kin, which also present a bit of a problem: if they're so closely related to the man species, why didn’t they evolve to party with their beer-swilling, war-mongering “cousins”? Why don't they wear clothes? Gather round in circles and pray or speak in tongues (Well, maybe they actually do that!)? Build cities? Have armies? As much as the evos love to brag about being descended from chimps - one would think they believe that to, as yet, become their greatest accomplishment, they just can't quite prove it yet. More theories have been proposed to “explain” modern Homo Sapiens than one could shake a stick at and apart from academic pronouncements from corporately-funded pulpits, none have satisfied the question: what’s with modern man and his defiant stand against his world, against other species; against his own females; against those he declares to be his enemies and kills with no regards for consequences? What about his weapons of mass destruction capable of blowing the whole planet to kingdom come when he’s got no place else to back-off too when the proverbial you-know-what hits the fan? If "human" nature is truly a product of “mother” nature then one could be forgiven for choosing some morally bankrupt “father” god as presented in Biblical religions and others. Perhaps “mother” nature and “father” god are man’s real parents, in which case…do I just write: "good luck”? In any case, it appears that the number one enemy of evolution isn’t invisible sky wizards and their organized religious enterprises, but man himself. Only by blatantly lying can any proponent of natural evolution include Homo Sapiens in the mix. The creature will not fit in. Not only that but according to extensive archaeological finds, the species is full of unexplainable failed mutations and its races, its physical differences, remain unexplained and simply skipped over as academia insists the whole world must sing the official tune it has written. It’s all legitimate science too, and preached to kindergartners, making the Catholic Church cringe with envy. I wasn’t going to write about evolution at all. I started this to ruminate about a “new” saying that popped into my head while I was on a vacation, holiday, time-out, whatever, which included a little drive out east to the suburbs of Calgary, Alberta (and that would be in Canada for some of you!). And that saying is: “Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.” I had quite a few opportunities to try it, and it actually works wonders in many situations that otherwise might possibly have resulted in something akin to another invasion of Iraq or the end of a European soccer game. Silence truly is golden and the ultimate tool of brilliant diplomacy. How did that get into a debate on evolution? Well it’s quite simple. If you’ve ever been in a friendly discussion with other people, that is, a discussion that is not monitored, you know that every topic is on its way to another topic, the only difference to physical evolution is the time it takes for one discussion topic to morph into another – seconds replace millennia. But to be aware of this and to fully appreciate the transitioning, you have to remove yourself from the discussion and just listen for the sake of listening, even if that means sacrificing your own talkative ego to a greater cause. And where do the discussees (or discoursers or the talkers louder than all others) eventually end up after spitting out a string of unrelated topics, one topic after another jumping trains, shunting tracks and derailing? To the beer fridge, thus proving that there is at least one level at which evolution no longer needs to be theorized upon or babysat with weighty pronouncements from dead smart guys. Kokanee or Canadian?* “His name was Cawley, he was a Professor of Archaeology and Anthropology, and it was frequently said of him, behind his back, that he regarded it not so much as a serious academic study, but more as a chance to relive his childhood.” (Douglas Adams: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency) “It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. (Arthur Conan Doyle. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes)” (*Kokanee or Canadian: for the uninitiated, brands of Canadian beers – disclaimer: this is not an endorsement for the quality of the brew.)